Archives for April 2007

Learning to Trust Others and Yourself

You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough. ~ Frank Crane

has more to do with self confidence than with the behavior of others. We generally know what to expect from the people in our lives, so how they behave isn’t the real issue. The point we often ignore is that our fear to love, to forgive or to act assertively in life is a much bigger problem than what others might do to us.

Rather than focusing on the shortcomings of others it’s far more valuable to develop strength of character within ourselves. To move from an attitude of mistrust to one of confidence you must know who you are: the one who creates and is responsible for your life.

The more you genuinely accept responsibility for your life, without guilt, shame or self punishment, the more you will trust yourself. You will then be free to trust others because you will have confidence in yourself to make wise choices and to handle the vicissitudes of life.

David Cantu
Life Coach Austin Texas
Trust Yourself to Trust Others © 2007

Tao Te Ching
(from chapter 33)
Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.

What is True Personal Power?

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure . ~ Marianne Williamson

True power
isn’t a one way street; it isn’t about mastering or defeating another. That is self-aggrandizement or hatred. When we attempt to enforce our will on others we breed distrust, fear, and antagonism both within ourselves and others. The need to dominate others is indicative of a feeling of lack within oneself and attests to one’s sense of weakness rather than power.

True Power seeks
responsibility rather than control because otherwise it degenerates into self-gratification. It encourages and works in cooperation with others. Real power is open, seeks understanding and is willing to yield. This is because one who is aware of his power knows that he has much to give and is not run by fear.

Love has no fear
and does not attack but understands and forgives; this is power. Ego, on the other hand, is run by fear and selfishness. We move beyond fear to power by nurturing the abundance of our being as we give freely to others. As we do this, we come to realize our beauty and majesty. The source of my power is the light within my being that is in all people. And power is the shining of that light on the world.
David Cantu
Life Coach Austin
What is True Power? © 2007

Matthew 5:14
“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.”

Learn to Listen Better

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view–until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it. ~ Harper Lee “To Kill a Mockingbird”

Good communication
requires connection and understanding. To create that, we must not only speak effectively but also listen well. Poor communication begins by focusing single-mindedly on making our point or on being right; we fail to understand the other person. To listen well I should be actively engaged and curious – I must ask questions. We might not agree with one other, but by seeking common ground I make understanding and accord far more likely. I look for what’s going on beneath the surface; I listen not only to the words and thoughts but also to the emotions. I’m considerate of the needs of others as well as my own. Real communication begins when the person I’m speaking with feels acknowledged and understood. By grasping another’s perspective, I create a connection. As a result, I’m more likely to gain trust and to create a reciprocal response; I’m in a better position to express my own thoughts and feelings. In order to be heard I first must listen.
David Cantu
Life Coach Austin Texas
Learn to Listen Well © 2007

Matthew 13:16
But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.

You CAN Change People – Myth?

Be the change you want to see in the world. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

It’s a myth
that we can’t change others. Within everyone’s soul is a great desire to create, to love and be loved, to relish life. As we embrace this passion we transform ourselves and thereby change others. Our every thought and action is like a fingerprint on the universe, yet more subtle and very powerful. Focus your energy on a happy, fulfilled life and obstacles will arise, but rarely with the intensity you have imagined. Remain steadfast; relentlessly face your fears. You will find joy and unlock a secret to life – within every challenge is a key to greater understanding. Evolving into a creative and abundant being requires rewriting your contracts with life. Each revision brings about an increasing sense of integrity and confidence with which you impact others and expand your circle of influence. We are all here to manifest our spirit; as we do so, we change the people whose lives we touch and the world in which we live.

David Cantu
Life Coach Austin
The Change Myth © 2007

Luke 6:42
…first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to
remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Let’s Talk About God

How important the concept of God is, and how instead of valuing what has been given us, we with light hearts spurn it because of absurdities that have been attached to it. ~ Leo Tolstoy, Last Diaries, 1960

Few words
create more passion and have been more misunderstood and abused than “God.” I sometimes ask clients whether they believe in God. One of the most frequent answers goes something like this: “I don’t believe what is taught in churches today, but I do believe in a spirit within me. Yes, I do believe in God.” For those of you who feel cautious talking about God, I encourage you to open your heart. I’m not suggesting that you should change your beliefs, but that you drop your judgment and your fear of judgment. Certainly some people differ with you in their beliefs, but consider that others will have a great deal in common with you. Maybe God’s worth coming out of the closet and talking about? Following are quotes concerning God which I have found enlightening.
David Cantu
Life Coach Austin Texas
Let’s Talk About God © 2005

Knowing God

It is easy to understand God as long as you don’t try to explain him. ~ Joseph Joubert
But I always think that the best way to know God is to love many things. ~ Vincent van Gogh, Dear Theo: An Autobiography of Vincent van Gogh, 1937

God is not what you imagine or what you think you understand. If you understand, you have failed. ~ Saint Augustine

Some people talk about finding God – as if He could get lost. ~ Author Unknown

“What do you think of God,” the teacher asked. After a pause, the young pupil replied, “He’s not a think, he’s a feel.” ~ Paul Frost

What is God?

God is love. ~ 1 John 4:16

God is not the name of God, but an opinion about Him. ~ Pope Xystus I, The Ring

We need not join the mad rush to purchase an earthly fallout shelter. God is our eternal fallout shelter. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength to Love, 1963

All are but parts of one stupendous whole, Whose body Nature is, and God the soul. ~ Alexander Pope, An Essay on Man, 1734

“I was six when I saw that everything was God, and my hair stood up, and all,” Teddy said. “It was on a Sunday, I remember. My sister was a tiny child then, and she was drinking her milk, and all of a sudden I saw that she was God and the milk was God. I mean, all she was doing was pouring God into God, if you know what I mean. ~ J.D. Salinger, “Teddy,” 1954

God is like the ocean, we’re like the waves. ~ Author Unknown
Chance is perhaps the pseudonym of God when he did not want to sign. ~ Anatole France, Le jardin d’Epicure

Experience of God

I had a thousand questions to ask God; but when I met him they all fled and didn’t seem to matter. ~ Christopher Morley, Inward Ho!, 1923

When the solution is simple, God is answering. ~ Albert Einstein

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires. ~ Susan B. Anthony

I had no idea what it would be like to meet God. Then one day my life flashed before my eyes, and there he was. In every experience, “good” and “bad,” there he was. I laughed then for the longest time as I saw how silly it was of me to ever have been scared. ~ David Cantu

People and God

I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much. ~ Mother Teresa

There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, “Thy will be done,” and those to whom God says, “All right, then, have it your way.” ~ C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters, 1943

I’ve been hiding from God, and I’m appalled to find how easy it is. ~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message. ~ Malcolm Muggeridge

God tells me all kinds of things, usually between 4 and 7 a.m. ~ David Cantu

For, after all, put it as we may to ourselves, we are all of us from birth to death guests at a table which we did not spread. The sun, the earth, love, friends, our very breath are parts of the banquet … Shall we think of the day as a chance to come nearer to our Host, and to find out something of Him who has fed us so long? ~ Rebecca Harding Davis

Most people wish to serve God – but only in an advisory capacity. ~ Author Unknown

What we are is God’s gift to us. What we become is our gift to God. ~ Eleanor Powell

God enters by a private door into each individual. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Believing in God

I could not say I believe. I know! I have had the experience of being gripped by something that is stronger than myself, something that people call God. ~ Carl Jung

I do not believe in God, for that implies an effort of the will – I see God everywhere! ~ Jean Favre

I cannot imagine how the clockwork of the universe can exist without a clockmaker. ~ Voltaire