Archives for July 2012

Couples Therapy Questions for Austin Marriage Counseling

How does it work?
Our sessions for couples counseling in austin, or online, is highly interactive. After getting information from a couple we begin by giving feedback and confirming with each person about the appropriateness of the information. Couples will both get information specific to them. It’s practical, personal, and effective. We strive to make each session informative and helpful, we also give specific homework assignments to help couples implement changes.

What if the other partner doesn’t want to come in?
This happens very often with couples. The best approach is let your partner know that the intent is not to “fix him,” but to create a better foundation for the relationship. If your partner thinks it’s your problem, then encourage him to come in and tell us what exactly those problems are so you can get to work on them.

Will it help to come in without a partner?
Yes! Even though a partner is hesitant, or unwilling, we can give you specific ideas about things you can do to implement change in a relationship. It’s a myth that we can’t change other people, we can, we just need the right tools for the job! That said, it’s still an inside job, in other words the more you change yourself, the easier it will be to better influence your partner.

What if the problem is outside influences?
Unfortunately this happens all too often. Rest assured there are things you can do to address these challenges, but your primary problem is often not with the outside influences, but your relationship with your partner. Most of the time the challenge is with how the partner handles those influences, rather than the influences themselves.

Can you help with inter-cultural, inter-racial, gay, or lesbian relationships?
A relationship is a relationship is a relationship. We help people in all walks of life. With a shifting world dynamic people find themselves dating, or marrying people from all parts of the world. We’ve had Russian, Mexican, German, Canadian, English, Italian, Spanish, Brazilian… clients. Well, you get the message. We live in a shrinking world and our Austin marriage counselors have extensive experience coaching couples from any race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. To set up an initial session call us at 512-653-4316, you can also E-Mail David Cantu. For fees go to Affordable Life Coaching and Marriage Counseling Fees page.

Couples Counseling Techniques

Probably the most important couple counseling technique any counselor can use is empathy, the ability to sense and understand what each person is experiencing and feeling throughout the relationship. Without empathy a coach will be distant, the opposite of what is required to gain a person’s, or a couple’s, trust. With trust a couple will find themselves sharing both their darkest secrets and deepest needs, thus giving the counselor the most relevant information needed to best guide them forward.

Maybe the second most important couples counseling technique is the ability to read beyond a couple’s “story,” to decipher those things that are truly relevant and the root cause of their difficulties. Couples have a sense of their problems, but are often blind to their own failures and sometimes fail to see hidden motivations that greatly impact a relationship.

The third most important tool is a willingness to be firm and direct while maintaining compassion and consideration. Knowing that a coach isn’t a 90lb weakling strongly reinforces a persons confidence in him. At the same time, knowing he cares and is considerate makes it easier to deal with painful factors, rather than avoid them.

Motivation and encouragment are indispensable in counseling couples. A good coach works dilligently to create hope and a clear direction for couples to achieve their goals and overcome obstacles. A calm and peaceful demeanor, blended with humor when appropriate, are essential backdrops that make it easier for a couple to cope with serious hardships brought to the surface in a marriage counseling session.

Dozens of other techniques are important, including knowing the most opportune times to deal with certain issues, warning clients of potential dangers, sharing one’s own personal experiences, and being humble enough to acknowledge mistakes.