Learning to Trust Others and Yourself

You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough. ~ Frank Crane

Trust
has more to do with self confidence than with the behavior of others. We generally know what to expect from the people in our lives, so how they behave isn’t the real issue. The point we often ignore is that our fear to love, to forgive or to act assertively in life is a much bigger problem than what others might do to us. Rather than focusing on the shortcomings of others it’s far more valuable to develop strength of character within ourselves. To move from an attitude of mistrust to one of confidence you must know who you are: the one who creates and is responsible for your life. The more you genuinely accept responsibility for your life, without guilt, shame or self punishment, the more you will trust yourself. You will then be free to trust others because you will have confidence in yourself to make wise choices and to handle the vicissitudes of life.
David Cantu
Life Coach Austin Texas
Trust Yourself to Trust Others © 2007

Tao Te Ching
(from chapter 33)
Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.

Learn to Listen Better

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view–until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it. ~ Harper Lee “To Kill a Mockingbird”

Good communication
requires connection and understanding. To create that, we must not only speak effectively but also listen well. Poor communication begins by focusing single-mindedly on making our point or on being right; we fail to understand the other person. To listen well I should be actively engaged and curious – I must ask questions. We might not agree with one other, but by seeking common ground I make understanding and accord far more likely. I look for what’s going on beneath the surface; I listen not only to the words and thoughts but also to the emotions. I’m considerate of the needs of others as well as my own. Real communication begins when the person I’m speaking with feels acknowledged and understood. By grasping another’s perspective, I create a connection. As a result, I’m more likely to gain trust and to create a reciprocal response; I’m in a better position to express my own thoughts and feelings. In order to be heard I first must listen.
David Cantu
Life Coach Austin Texas
Learn to Listen Well © 2007

Matthew 13:16
(NIV)
But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.

You CAN Change People – Myth?

Be the change you want to see in the world. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

It’s a myth
that we can’t change others. Within everyone’s soul is a great desire to create, to love and be loved, to relish life. As we embrace this passion we transform ourselves and thereby change others. Our every thought and action is like a fingerprint on the universe, yet more subtle and very powerful. Focus your energy on a happy, fulfilled life and obstacles will arise, but rarely with the intensity you have imagined. Remain steadfast; relentlessly face your fears. You will find joy and unlock a secret to life – within every challenge is a key to greater understanding. Evolving into a creative and abundant being requires rewriting your contracts with life. Each revision brings about an increasing sense of integrity and confidence with which you impact others and expand your circle of influence. We are all here to manifest our spirit; as we do so, we change the people whose lives we touch and the world in which we live.

David Cantu
Life Coach Austin
The Change Myth © 2007

Luke 6:42
(NIV)
…first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to
remove the speck from your brother’s eye.