Personal Integrity, By Definition

David CantuRelationships

But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~ Albert Camus Integrity is often defined in moral terms but we can also think of it as wholeness or oneness. In this sense, a person of integrity is one in his entire being: his thoughts, emotions, speech, actions and spirit are all in alignment. Many …

Time is Only an Illusion

David CantuPersonal Growth

The distinction between past, present and future is only an illusion, however persistent. ~ Einstein Time is a measure of change. It is like many wonderful inventions that help us better communicate and interact with each other. Law, government, money, space, time and countless other ideas can be useful in making sense of the world, our relationships with each other and life. …

How to Create a Good Relationship

David CantuArticles, Relationships

To create love: be true to yourself; know yourself and listen to what your partner is really saying; choose someone you’re attracted to, someone who fits you; know your role in the relationship; make a firm commitment and love actively. Chemistry It helps to be “into each other.” Ask yourself: is this person someone you really want to spend your time …

What is Marriage All About – Dangerous Ambivalence or Joyful Commitment?

David CantuRelationships

Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up. ~ Joseph Barth Marriage brings great rewards of loving intimacy and heart-wrenching emotional turbulence. We frequently cope with this apparent conflict with ambivalence, which makes true joy in marriage impossible. Concerning love, you cannot be of two minds and yet hope to experience her riches. Time and again we discard commitment in …

Embrace the Power of Surrender

David CantuLove

The greatness of a man’s power is the measure of his surrender. ~ William Booth Concerning relationships, surrender does not mean giving up or defeat but a commitment to love. To yield is not always a sign of weakness – it can be an indication of great strength and wisdom. This is because a fearless refusal to fight rests in the …

Transform Your Life – Create New Beliefs After Being Violated

David CantuPersonal Growth, Spirituality

I know what it’s like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can’t. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. ~ Susanna Kaysen, Girl Interrupted You were violated and then blamed yourself and others. You’ve lived with shame, confusion, fear and guilt. You …

The Freedom of Choice

David CantuSpirituality

Freedom lies in being bold. ~ Robert Frost As children we weren’t able to understand life. Whether it was good or bad, disciplined or chaotic, many of us came to feel trapped and to see life as a conspiracy against us. Now, it doesn’t matter whether we fight, run away or give in; we can’t seem to change things. Others appear to …

The Illusion of Danger, See the Truth

David CantuPersonal Growth

The most dangerous thing is illusion. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson Rarely in life are we truly in danger. Nevertheless, feelings of anxiety, stress, self doubt, loss and fear frequently intrude in life. Thoughts of danger lurking around corners are a learned response that has calcified into habit. When you were small the world looked big and scary. It may even have …

Learning to Trust Others and Yourself

David CantuPersonal Growth, Relationships

You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough. ~ Frank Crane Trust has more to do with self confidence than with the behavior of others. We generally know what to expect from the people in our lives, so how they behave isn’t the real issue. The point we often ignore …

Learn to Listen Better

David CantuRelationships

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view–until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it. ~ Harper Lee “To Kill a Mockingbird” Good communication requires connection and understanding. To create that, we must not only speak effectively but also listen well. Poor communication begins by focusing single-mindedly on making our …