Habit, like thinking and feeling, can lead us to a life of fulfillment or of misery. The difference isn’t simply between good habits and bad, but awareness of those habits. Too often couples embark on laudable paths of responsibility and family only to discover years or decades later that something essential is missing. They have lived on autopilot and forgotten to prioritize their love. Mindfulness is the opposite of autopilot.
When people meditate they close their eyes, shut out the world, and then focus the mind. Mindfulness is also a focus of the mind, with eyes open, aware of self and the world. Mindfulness observes habits and is in charge of them, rather than allowing them to take over and become autopilot. Mindfulness is open eyed meditation.
Do you lament that your love life is not what it once was? It’s likely that somewhere along the way you took your eyes off the prize. Perhaps you were overwhelmed with the demands of life. Work, children, finances, and poor health can be daunting obstacles. Solving life’s challenges is not easy for anybody and we all experience failures in life that lead to failures in love. Start to love again with mindfulness.
Mindfulness is not thought, it is focused, intentional thought. Mindfulness is not positive thinking, but positive thinking can be one of its tools. With mindfulness you can develop a vast arsenal of tools to help you create the love you seek; it is one of the most powerful skills for a joyful, peaceful life because it is mastery of thought and being.
Mindfulness is the embodiment of responsibility and curiosity. It is self awareness with acceptance. It embraces vulnerability, forgiveness, and empathy. Mindfulness can help heal your wounds and create a clear path for the love you seek. It is the ultimate discipline for love.
How do you do this? Focus your attention on something. Maybe an object, an emotion, some thought. Next, keep your mind on this one thing. How long are you able to keep your mental attention? Regardless of your success, consider how much of a challenge it can be to remain focused. Now, do that all day. Observe your thoughts, emotions, and physical experiences. Observe your reactions to people and events in each moment, with acceptance. From this perspective choose and take action. That is mindfulness.
Do Mindfulness Now
How do I feel now?
What am I thinking now?
How am I affected by this situation?
How am I affecting my partner?
Who do I want to be?
What do I choose to do, now?